Kaka isn’t the only one to stick his nose up…

Manchester City are currently nursing their injured pride after Kaka told them where to shove their money, but Mark Hughes aren’t the only ones to have faced rejection. In fact, according to our compilation of of top ten transfer snubs, Sir Alex Ferguson has seen seen more rejections than Danielle Lloyd’s Mensa application…

1. Younes Kaboul (Sunderland, 2008)
Kaboul was part of a £14m bid from Sunderland in the summer that also comprised of Spurs teammates Teemi Tainio, Steed Malbranque and Pascal Chimbonda. While the other three left, Kaboul’s agent explained his client wouldn’t be joining them “even if there was an earthquake.” Kaboul joined Portsmouth instead.

2. Paul Gascoigne (Manchester Utd, 1988)
Back in 1988, Gazza promised Manchester United he would be joining them for a British transfer record fee before their manager Alex Ferguson took a holiday to Malta. While sunning himself, Fergie discovered the England legend had in fact signed a deal with Spurs. Ferguson - without a shred of bitterness - suggested the player was lured to London after Spurs bribed him with a house for his family, and that he would not have experienced so many personal problems under his watchful eye.

3. David Beckham (AC and Internazionale, 2007)
Mr B rejected offers from Italian giants AC and Inter in 2007 when he chose to sign for football powerhouse LA Galaxy instead. Beckham - who advised Kaka to stay in Milan recently - insisted the move would provide him with a greater challenge. And not more money. Honestly.

4. Ronaldinho (Manchester Utd, Chelsea, Manchester City, loads of others)
Ronaldinho famously rejected Manchester Untied in 2003 in favour of a move to Barcelona. A few years later, Chelsea were the second English club to be turned down by the gap-toothed Brazilian. “Not Chelsea or Milan. I want to stay with Barcelona - that is my wish, that is the wish of Ronaldinho,” said Ronnie, who enjoys talking about himself in third person almost as much as Cristiano Ronaldo. Now, of course, he plays for AC Milan, whose chairman Silvio Berlusconi

Maybe it wasn’t just a bitter rant after all

While Younes Kaboul’s defending hasn’t earned him many rave reviews during his time in the Premier League with first Tottenham and now Portsmouth, The Spoiler thinks it’s time to give him credit for being one of the first to question the credentials of Juande Ramos.

When Kaboul criticised his then manager in April, saying that he deserved no credit for Tottenham’s Carling Cup success and accusing him of never speaking to his players, it was largely dismissed as a bitter attack by a player who Ramos, in a rare display of good squad management, realised wasn’t worthy of a starting place.

Back then Spurs fans were too busy planning their latest assault on the Big Four to take much notice of Kaboul’s rant but now that his comments appear to have been proven accurate, we thought they might be worth reliving:

Former boss points out where Ramos has gone wrong

When everything you touch is going wrong, the last thing you need is your popular predecessor pointing out your shortcomings. But just like Avram Grant had to suffer Jose Mourinho’s taunts in his final days as Chelsea manager, Bundesliga table-topper Martin Jol felt obliged to point out Juande Ramos’ mistakes.

It’s less than eight months since Spurs won the Carling Cup but only eight of their sixteen man squad from that day are still with the club and Jol feels that this is the main reason they are struggling:

“They won the Carling Cup with that team, which was good, I thought, but they changed it - and that is there responsibility but as I said I wish them all the best.”

While Jol is far too nice a guy to properly lay into anyone, he wanted to remind everyone that the start his Spurs side made last season was nowhere near as bad as this and that he had far less to work with:

“They have got probably a worse situation

Today’s gossip, rumours and damned lies

Chelsea have confirmed making a bid for Brazilian man-o’-sex Robinho (rumoured to be worth £19.7 million) but find themselves frustrated with Real Madrid’s failure to find a replacement, which is currently holding up proceedings. With Cristiano Ronaldo staying put and Wesley Sneijder out injured, this saga could be far from completion.

Kevin Doyle to Sunderland
Things were going great for Doyle. He impressed during his first Premier League season then was even linked with a move to Chelsea. What followed? A run of 21 games without a goal! Fear not though, Roy Keane is ready to offer him a second chance.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Sunderland and Doyle could prove a good match

Younes Kaboul to Aston Villa
Martin O’Neill has already signed

Today’s gossip, rumours and damned lies

The Spoiler never winds down, not even on a Friday. So while you’re probably chugging back your fifth beer of the morning, wondering whether Michael Vaughan can be correctly described as an “athlete”, we’ve been poking our noses into places where men in suits discuss football. Here’s what we sniffed out…

Cristiano Ronaldo update
Reports in Spain are claiming that Real Madrid have signed Dutch winger Rafael van der Vaart, a move that could well put paid to Ronaldo’s hopes of further bolstering his tan under Spain’s magnificent sun. He should probably rethink his proposed talks with Ferguson, in which he plans to reveal, in no uncertain terms, that his future lies with Madrid.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Real Madrid have finally given up on Ronaldo.

Mikael Silvestre to Aston Villa
Ferguson has been trying to shake off Silvestre for ages now, and should have few qualms with allowing him to join Villa on loan. Villa are looking for someone to replace the departed Olof Mellberg and the experienced French international certainly fits the bill. The only sticking point could be Silvestre’s £60,000 wage demands.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Silvestre will have to settle for less to secure a deal.

Younes Kaboul to Portsmouth
Having turned down a move to the glorious kingdom of Sunderland, Kaboul is now considering joining happy Harry on the south coast. The lure of European football should be enough to convince the Spurs defender that it will be fun playing in a town where seagulls outnumber people by a thousand to one. Roughly.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: The wheeler-dealer to get a new recruit.

It’s like humble pie, but more disgusting…

People of Sunderland, if you need The Spoiler’s help, it’s yours. We can provide tinned fruits, Marmite, or just a shoulder to cry on. What we can’t offer, sadly, is a new roof to replace the one that the recent earthquake tore from your house, with it shattering your dreams and crushing your soul. On the upside, at least that means that less than a week after Younes Kaboul’s agent Rudy Raba boldly stated that his player wouldn’t join Sunderland “even if there was an earthquake”, he has totally eaten his words, and is joining your local club after all. How hilarious - honestly, you just couldn’t make it up.

What do you mean there was no earthquake?

Are you saying that Kaboul lied on more than one level?

Disgusting.

Reasons why footballers shouldn’t speak #874

Don’t let your eyes deceive you, Younes Kaboul is not as intelligent as he looks. The lumbering defender should surely be flattered by any flirtatious glances he’s getting from northern football clubs, especially having spent last season chugging around White Hart Lane as if he was actually avoiding the ball.

Yet, when Sunderland came a-knocking, he doused their flames of interest by claiming he wouldn’t grace their club “even if there was an earthquake”.

Quite what that means is anyones guess, because, as everyone knows, should England be hit by an earthquake, we have all been instructed to go to Wigan.

Come on Hull, at least try to stay up

After giving our two cents on how the five top flight London clubs should spend their cash yesterday, today we look at how the Premier League newcomers should invest their modest budgets in the closed season…

West Brom

Top priority:
Some new defenders - West Brom have got guys capable of scoring goals but at the back they are very leaky. They let in 55 goals last season and the last time the Championship winners conceded that many was way back in 1961. Don’t do what Derby did and sign a load of rubbish defenders though.

Fitting the bill: Calum Davenport, Michael Dawson, Stephen Kelly

Stoke

Top priority:
A Plan B - So Stoke won promotion by being brutish and scoring from Rory Delap’s long throws but Watford showed that physicality alone isn’t enough to survive. Last season Stoke forward Mamady Sidibe started 35 games and scored just four goals - more firepower is a must.

Fitting the bill: Harry Kewell, Shane Long, Marlon Harewood

Hull

Top priority:
Some youth and depth - Hull are ridiculed for relying heavily on old-timers Dean Windass and Nick Barmby but there’s nothing wrong with this policy as long as they are supplemented by some talented youngsters to help share the workload. A bit more quality and depth in defence is also a must.

Fitting the bill: Colin Kazim Richards, Younes Kaboul, Ali Al Habsi, Linvoy Primus