The latest gossip, rumours and damned lies…

In a triumph of dignity over truckloads of cash, Kaka has snubbed Manchester City’s advances, causing The Sun to publish their worst headline of all time: “Stabbed in the Kak.” While City fans try and make sense of that nonsensical attempt at vulgar innuendo, they can also despair at the news that Robinho has stormed out of their Tenerife training camp and is on his way back to Brazil.

While we ponder their next move in the market (David Villa, anyone?), here’s the latest in Transferland…

Tom Huddlestone to Hamburg
The Daily Mail believe the young Spurs midfielder is all set to link up with old gaffer Martin Jol, who considers him the best player of his type and age in Europe.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Only a handful of players seem safe under the Redknapp regime, and Huddlestone’s replacement Didier Zokora is one of them. Jol has also been promised a replacement for the imminently City-bound Nigel de Jong.

Jermaine Pennant to Portsmouth
The south coast club have agreed terms with the Liverpool star, who is said to favour