Manchester Utd striker’s secret passion for cancer sticks revealed
Despite being an professional sportsman who relies on his fitness to make a living, Wayne Rooney found the time to spark up a coffin nail while staying at the Wynn Casino in the city of sin this week. According to The Sun, the Manchester United striker also joined the pro-footballer smoke club - whose members include Dimitar Berbatov, David James and Zinedine Zidane - during his stag trip to Ibiza.
The biggest concern about this situation isn’t the effect the filthy habit will have on Mr Rooney’s career, but rather his flagrant abuse of smoking etiquette. Honestly, who smokes in a swimming pool? Does he smoke in the shower too? He ought to be thoroughly ashamed of himself.
Spanish giants just cannot stop staring at Ronaldo’s picture
Elegant French sports journal L’Equipe has had a chat with Real Madrid’s sporting director, Predrag Mijatovic, and reckon that Real’s singular obsession is to sign the boy Ronaldo.
“In the world of football Real Madrid is one of the most prestigious teams, which is why it needs the best players in the world. Our fans were lucky enough to see Zinedine Zidane in a white shirt, and we all look back to that time when we won the Champions League. That’s why we want Ronaldo to be the face of the new Real Madrid,” says the one they call Pedja.
Real’s dealings in the transfer market have been poor in recent years, bringing neither European glory nor a positive balance sheet, and the huge sums earnt a while back from the sale of their old training ground has long been squandered. However, President Calderon has had enough of being humiliated in Europe, and like all good egomaniacal owners has decided that he must have the best, regardless of contract law or the wrath of Ferguson.
The Spoiler presents the best of the angry, drunk and depressed
The main issue that footballers have is that once away from the pitch, what is there to do? God forbid they have to pick up a book and read! The lucky ones play golf and hang out with Gary Neville, while the rest of them stare blank-eyed into the depths of their tortured souls.
How about this team for a freaky dressing room!
GK Mark Bosnich
There was a time when the Australian looked set to become the greatest goalkeeper the world had ever seen, but then he set eyes of silly Sophie Anderton, and went about shoveling cocaine up his nose instead of training. He then became a little bit weird.
DL Ben Thatcher
A horrible man, Thatcher will be remembered mainly for his revolting use of his elbows - most notably on Pedro Mendes of Portsmouth, who took such a wallop that he had a seizure. Serious violence issues, he makes the line-up in front of Ashley Cole, who isn’t so much troubled as just a total bastard.
DC Tony Adams
Forget the straight-faced gentlemanly MOTD2 demeanor, there was a time when Adams would hurl back the beers and set off fire extinguishers in Pizza Hut - all because he was drunk, the idiot. Then there was the time he smashed a Ford Sierra into a wall, shortly before going to prison. Oops (hic!).
DC Paul McGrath
McGrath had the look of a man who would silently strangle people in alleyways, but as defenders go, he was brilliant. Problem was, he was so addicted to drink that he once thought it wise to wolf down some lighter fluid (apparently). Euch.
Shortly before headbutting his way into retirement, Zinedine Zidane made sure he wouldn’t have to work part-time at the local B&Q in his autumn years by starring in an advert for the student’s main source of nutrition, ‘Cup Noodle’. Surely Materazzi’s chest was a lot softer on his head than a kettle?
