Overrated Barcelona star sold a dummy by youngster

Inspired by the cheeky antics of the cheeky Chelsea mascot, an Italian TV station sent a young reporter to get “revenge” on Barcelona’s Zlatan Ibrahimovic when he returned to Italy for last week’s Champions League clash at the San Siro.

Ibra hasn’t looked this helpless since the last time he played in a major international tournament.

Italians get sexy dancers, Spaniards get crazy mimics

We don’t receive Catalan channel TV3, but if we did, we’d almost certainly tune into Crackovia, the comedy show where La Liga stars are parodied to within the inch of their lives. In the latest episode, a dead ringer for Cristiano Ronaldo chats with a fatter version of Guti, and we think it’s meant to be Sergio Ramos who emerges from the tub at the end.

We don’t speak any Catalan or Spanish, so have no clue what they are saying, but it’s all ridiculous enough to make us laugh.

The Catalonians don’t just parody their enemies, they also poke fun at their own biggest stars. We’re pretty sure the tall guy on the right is actually Zlatan Ibrahimovic. How can there be two people in the world with a nose like that?

If you can tell us what the hell they’re talking about in these clips, do share below…

[Spotted on ONTD]

Mark Hughes’ side get a massive confidence boost in Spain

Barcelona 0/ Manchester City 1
Despite the support of 90,000 supporters and some keerrazzee limited edition shirts, European champions Barcelona lost the annual Juan Gamper Tournament to Manchester City last night.

Bulgarian Martin Petrov proved he is still alive with a first half strike that punished some terrible goalkeeping from a goalkeeper who nobody has ever heard of. Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s immeasurable talents were out in force, but in the end, the overrated Swede was simply too rubbish to put one past Shay Given.

Spoiler bonus: Elsewhere in friendly action, Real Madrid spanked Borussia Dortmund in front of 75,000 fans, but C-Ron failed to get on the scoresheet. Highlights after the jump…

Ibrahimovic receives a record breaking welcome in Spain

Barcelona have finally ended their search for a Swedish striker with incongruous tattoos and a tendency to bottle big games by securing the services of Zlatan Ibrahimovic this week. And as a Brucey Bonus, the Catalan giants sent that pesky Samuel Eto’o off to Inter Milan as part of the deal. Everybody wins!

To celebrate the arrival of their new striker, Barca fans turned out in force at his official unveiling last night. In the biggest player presentation in Barcelona history, a whopping 60,000 people piled into the Nou Camp to see the Swede turn up two hours late, say thank you, kiss a badge and do some keep ups.

When Ronaldinho was unveiled in 2004, just 20,000 fans turned up. Therefore, Ibrahimovic is exactly three times better than Ronaldinho in his prime. Fact.

Greedy Cameroonian cut out of Ibrahimovic swap deal

For the past few days, Barcelona have been trying their best to tempt over-rated Swede Zlatan Ibrahimovic away from Inter Milan, by offering Samuel Eto’o and €40m to the Serie A side.

Spanish paper Marca, however, are now reporting that the Catalan giants are completely fed up with the Cameroonian’s behaviour and extraordinary demands, and so will offer €75m and Alexander Hleb instead.

It looks like Eto’o may now destined to rot on the Nou Camp bench.

We’re going to go and lie down for a bit - that sudden rush of schadenfreude was a little overwhelming…

The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

Zlatan Ibrahimovic to Barcelona
Spanish paper Sport believe the Catalonians have already signed the over-rated Swede for €40m plus Samuel Eto’o and Alexander Hleb on loan. Joan Laporta and his cronies reportedly reached an agreement at around midnight last night.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: The rest of the Spanish press are saying the deal is imminent rather than complete, but it looks like it’s happening. Inter won’t be detterred by Eto’o’s greed as Mourinho loves him almost as much as he loves Drogba.

Alvaro Negredo to Tottenham
Determined to sign some sort of Real Madrid striker this summer, Spurs are set to shell out £15m for the 23-year-old. Spanish paper AS say a deal based around a four-year contract will be complete within 48 hours.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Looks like Darren Bent

Also appearing on a computer near you…

We’re not sure who Xabi Alonson is, but The Mirror seem to think he is in demand
[ONTD]

Six Premiership stars have been tested for HIV after knocking boots with an infected WAG
[Pies]

Manchester City may be interested in David Trezeguet
[Goal.com]

Federico Macheda isn’t having a good week
[Dirty Tackle]

Chelsea WAG Keeley Hazell poses for our Australian friends
[On205th]

Zlatan Ibrahimovic denies Manchester Utd link
[Sky Sports]

Totally random: We had no idea Christopher Walken was so popular in Aisa
[Warming Glow]

A further helping of transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

Kyle Naughton to Everton
BBC Radio Sheffield claim that Everton have agreed a fee of around £5 million for Sheffield United right-back Naughton. The talented 21-year-old isn’t expected to discuss terms with the Toffees until Monday though.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Everton could have a fantastic all-English back four of Baines, Lescott, Jagielka and Naughton next season, all capable of making the World Cup squad. It’s unbelievable that Coral are still offering 5/1 on Everton being the highest-placed team outside the Big Four next season.

Fraizer Campbell to Sunderland
Sky Sports are reporting that Sunderland have had an offer of around £5 million accepted for the England Under-21’s striker. Phil Brown confirmed