The big news today is that it is officially the most meltiest hot day ever known to mankind - or, at least, it feels that way. And in other smoldering news, Ronaldo will be lining up for Real Madrid next year…

Cristiano Ronaldo to Real Madrid
The loud clamour coming from sunny Spain is that Cristiano Ronaldo has already met with Real Madrid’s Director of Football and agreed to play for the La Liga winners next season. It would, of course, be the biggest scoop of the summer, probably breaking big transfer records. You heard it here first (or second if you read the Spanish press, clever cloggs).

Thierry Henry to Absolutely Anywhere
Anyone who saw the aftershow chit-chat following last night’s Real Madrid/ Barcelona drubbing already knows that at Barca they have an enormous list of players who they don’t want any more (according to the terrifying satanic voice of Henk ten Cate). One of those is Thierry Henry. He will be off.

Dimitar Berbatov to Manchester City
Manchester City are ready to offer £32 million for Berbatov, and will be hoping to tempt him with their long winters, non-Champions League football, and eccentric owner who has a reassuringly itchy trigger finger. Good luck, guys.

Once again, our well-trained internet ferret has been thrashing around in cyberspace collating information. Today, the big transfer rumbles sound like this:

Gennaro Gattuso to Tottenham
An Italian newspaper has reported that Gattuso may wish to leave AC Milan in the summer and that Manchester United and Tottenham are leading an £8 million charge for the fiery little midfielder. Being that he talks like a Scot, this could be Sir Alex’s for the nabbing, but the whisper is that Spurs are leading the way.

Zoltan Gera to Wigan
West Brom’s Hungarian playmaker has AGAIN been linked with a move to the JJB, but Wigan’s fans are bored to death of that one – it’s so 2005.