Spoiler

Merry Christmas from The Spoiler!

Here’s a funny version of Back to The Future

As an early Christmas gift, please enjoy the above video, which brilliantly takes a famous scene from a classic movie, [...]

VIDEO TIMEWARP: Two magnificent Anfield hat-tricks

One for Arsenal, the other for Liverpool

(Those who don’t appreciate the work of Nickelback might want to hit MUTE) 

Without wanting to jinx proceedings, it should be the greatest [...]

Arshavin’s a good boy, says Wenger. And more…

Arshavin – doesn’t do partying

Without wanting to make sweeping judgements based on a man’s physicality, Arshavin is no drinker. Look at him. He’s tiny.

Think about the kind of people who like to ”party”. You’ve seen them - propping up a Wetherspoons bar, using the c-word version of vagina as a term of endearment. Occasionally nipping out [...]

Arsenal are just too damn small, says Arshavin

Arshavin – very low centre of gravity

After the little people of Arsenal’s drubbing in the Carling Cup this week, probably the dinkiest of them all has come out and located the problem – they’re just not tall enough. As reported in The Daily Mail, Arshavin says:

“We are not good [...]

Andrei Arshavin reveals: “I have to shell out to breathe!”

Don’t give Gordon any ideas

Whilst taxes on cigarettes, alcohol and even fatty foods are lapped up by meddling governments, a tax on that luxury item of air has yet to be announced by the men in [...]

Arshavin’s agent confirms deal missed deadline

New Arsenal saviour about to feel the sharp side of British bureaucracy

It appears the Merseyside derby wasn’t the only tedious affair that went into extra time this week. In a Spoiler exclusive, Andrei Arshavin’s agent Dennis Lichter has revealed that the on-off-on-off-on-off-on-off-you-get-the-idea-with-that transfer was not concluded inside the 5pm Premier League deadline.

Speaking [...]

Spurs, it’s your year… again

Might Ramos be the new messiah?

Spurs are a bit like that dream girl you always wanted to have sex with. She looks amazing, ticks all the right boxes, but when your boat finally comes in and you get the chance to actually do it, she’s rubbish. It’s a [...]

Arshavin lined up to replace Robbie Keane at Spurs

Tomorrow’s headlines today…

To prove that it’s still today and not tomorrow yet, at time of writing none of us knew that Mohamed would finally crack on Big Brother and windmill in to the housemates in hell, destroying them with a series of rabbit punches and kung-fu kicks. [...]