CAPTAIN COLE

Ashley Cole is the only man classy enough to succeed John Terry

Well at least it’ll make it easier for you to scapegoat him come June

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If he hadn’t cheated on the apparent greatest living Briton, used hyperbole to show disgust at Arsenal’s stinginess or shot someone with a rifle, would Ashley Cole really be a 20/1 outsider with William Hill to replace John Terry as England captain?

Take all the role model nonsense out of the equation – and why [...]

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FOOTBALL FRIENDS

So just who are Ashley Cole’s friends at Manchester City?

Ashley Cole in the company of several potential BFFs...

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It’s not an opinion held widely at Spoiler HQ, but Whiteboard actually quite likes Ashley Cole.

An irrepressible urge to back the underdog stirs a degree of sympathy for a man who has become a national hate figure merely for being driven to distraction by an Arsenal contract offer, cheating on the third best looking [...]

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Betting info

Some excellent betting stats about tonight’s massive game

Imagine this, but with Torres in blue…

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Manchester United face Chelsea this evening and it looks like being a bloody good game.

Fernando Torres loves playing against United, Chelsea have nothing to lose, United have Wayne Rooney available after recovering from an elbow injury sustained when James McCarthy [...]

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Seriously?

Absolutely mental weekend 1: Ashley Cole SHOOTS someone

No, Amir! Don’t do it! Remember Gareth Gates!

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You’ve been happy before, right? Well remember back to the happiest you’ve ever been. Multiply it by about a million trillion and try to imagine what that feels like.

That feeling is probably close to how News of the World reporter [...]

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Transfer Stuff (ish)

Enrique to Liverpool, Cheryl and Ashley to Dubai, and more…

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Fulham are hosting Chelsea this evening in a game that all sub-editors around the country are praying ends in a huge win for one of the sides so the ‘St. Valentine’s Day massacre’ headlines can be trotted out.

Anyway, Fulham have beaten Chelsea just once in [...]

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A controversial idea

Are we allowed to stop hating Ashley Cole yet?

Predicted first comment: “No”

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Time is a great healer. However, it’s magic is unable to heal things like gunshot wounds or, it appears, that gaping, seeping chasm of a gash that is people’s hatred for Ashley Cole.

Earlier this week he was voted England’s player of the year and [...]

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