Mmmm cake

OMFG! Look at Louis van Gaal’s amazing birthday cake!

Oh God! That looks lush!

Birthday Cake 

Close your eyes and imagine what your 59th birthday party would look like. Chances are it will go in one of two directions. Either you’ll be surrounded by your wonderful family, enjoying a nice simple cake. Or you’ll be alone in a [...]

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Shagging

Louis van Gaal’s pre-season sex advice REVEALED

Couple loves having sex

Louis van Gaal

Close your eyes and imagine a gorgeous naked couple making love to one another for hours. Beautiful isn’t it? Kenny G in the background, candles flickering, their bodies working as one, beads of sweat on all four of their breasts. Now imagine that one [...]

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Transfer Talk

Chelsea, Barcelona, and Bayern all go for a Brazilian

Ramires – lots of thinking to do

Ramires 

Of course, now that we’re living in a nanny state, it’s very much frowned upon to blow a nice cloud of cigarette smoke into your child’s face. Crazy right? Still, thanks to facists like David Cameron and his besuited cohorts, Billie Piper might [...]

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Weird Celebration

Mourinho celebrates with incredible display of spitting

What happened next?… Seriously

Jose Mourinho

For those of you too busy pinking up your faces and sloshing back summertime pints, Jose Mourinho had a great night on Saturday, bagging another Champions League trophy, before celebrating with a home made water fountain (pictured).

Some highlights after the jump…

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And he's off!

Mourinho definitely wants to go to Real – 100 per cent

Mr Cheerful

Jose Mourinho

Of course, no one should be surprised – Jose Mourinho isn’t really the kind of guy to let the small matter of a Champions League final get in the way of talking about his future employment. He said this (as reported in the [...]

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Transfer Talk

Liverpool to sell Aquilani, United to sell Berbs…

Well, that went well

Aquilani

Wow, it’s weird to think that it was less than a year ago that the people of Liverpool were busily attempting to correctly pronounce the word “Aquilani” without hacking up too much phlegm, thanks to their strange local dialect – known in the trade as “Carragher”. Well, [...]

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