Spoiler

The return of the Champions League is less than a week away!

Forget the flowers, spend February 14 with Graeme Souness and co

February 14. An expensive seat at a posh venue, painstakingly but thoughtfully prepared montages and a bit of spine-chilling orchestra music to accompany the dulcet tweet of Howard Webb’s whistle. It can only mean one thing: the return of the Champions League.

That’s right, the scrap for that cup with the Gary Lineker-esque ears resumes [...]

Arsenal chairman: “A Champions League spot would be nice”

And if that Messi chap asked to join us, wouldn’t that be super too?

With Garry Cook no longer at large, it feels fair to generalise that most football club suits favour a policy of either taking out restraining orders on microphones or only stepping in front of them to deliver cautious sound bites about “improving the global visibility of the brand going forwards”.

One exception to this trend, [...]

Why the £7 million Clichy price is right for Manchester City

Five reasons why Manchester City have negotiated a good fee

The Spoiler isn’t a major member of the Gael Clichy fan club, judging his delivery as underwhelming for a perceived top-level attacking full back, as [...]

Adriana Lima is not all that compared to football

Lima – pah!

Being a LAD these days is hard work, innit? What with eating loads of man crisps, drinking blue alcopops, having BANTER with our LAD mates and wishing we were Danny Dyer, it’s a wonder we have time for anything else.

Well we do have time for [...]

Champions League quarter final draw pits Chelsea against Man Utd and Real Madrid take on Spurs

“Hmm… which one’s the warm one?… ah, here it is”

The balls have been drawn, and the football gods (or Joe Blatter, if you like a consipracy theory) have spoken.

Champions League Quarter-Final draw:

An all English quarter-final! - Chelsea vs Manchester United

Battle of the media-darling managers! [...]

Pepe bitch slaps Aly Cissokho with his foot

Foot, meet face

Real Madrid defender Pepe, a special brand of mental footballer, appeared genuinely contrite in 2009 after receiving a 10 game ban for breakdancing all over Javier Casquero during [...]

It’s official, Arsene Wenger IS a clairvoyant!

Arsenal will take on Barcelona in the knock out stages of the Champions League. How the hell did he know?

In other news, Spurs got AC Milan, Man United got Marseille, and Chelsea drew a nice long straw with a match against Copenhagen.

Thoughts? And why no laser show, guys?

Is Arsene Wenger really a clairvoyant? Find out today…

With the Champions League draw due at some point this lunchtime – presumably after a few boring speeches and a totally unnecessary laser show – all will become clear as to the workings of Prof. Wenger’s mind.

As reported into all of today’s papers, he seems to KNOW that Arsenal will draw Barcelona.

“I know [...]