Transfer stuff

Sneijder not to Man Utd, Downing to Liverpool and more…

Cheryl – coming home


It’s not been a good couple of days for the people of Newcastle. First Geordie Shore goes on television and tars everyone with the moron brush and then Cheryl Cole gets kicked off American X Factor because apparently no-one can understand her.

At least the [...]

Read more
Transfer stuff

Adebayor back to City, Patricio to United, and other stuff…

Goodbye, England’s rose…


It’s happened, the moment we’ve all been dreading – Cheryl Cole is leaving us to go to America.

Feel free to make some toilet attendant/accent joke if you want, but they’ve pretty much all been done and none of them are very funny. Not that it’s [...]

Read more
Transfer Stuff (ish)

Enrique to Liverpool, Cheryl and Ashley to Dubai, and more…

Cheryl and Cheryl cheryl.jpg

Fulham are hosting Chelsea this evening in a game that all sub-editors around the country are praying ends in a huge win for one of the sides so the ‘St. Valentine’s Day massacre’ headlines can be trotted out.

Anyway, Fulham have beaten Chelsea just once in [...]

Read more
A controversial idea

Are we allowed to stop hating Ashley Cole yet?

Predicted first comment: “No”


Time is a great healer. However, it’s magic is unable to heal things like gunshot wounds or, it appears, that gaping, seeping chasm of a gash that is people’s hatred for Ashley Cole.

Earlier this week he was voted England’s player of the year and [...]

Read more
Sex News

Red faced shame rains down on Ashley Cole

Ashley’s ex upgrades…


Back in the olden days – before modern technology demanded that we all chart one another’s progress through life – a relationship would end, you’d cry yourself to sleep for a few weeks, and then convince yourself that either: a. She will never love again. Or b. She [...]

Read more
A big old list

A load of things and people that defined 2010

Happy New Year!


Happy New Year, one and all. May 2011 be met with a bunch of pointless resolutions that’ll go flying out of the window within a week!

To celebrate, after the jump, you’ll find a rather higgledy-piggledy summation of the year just gone, consisting [...]

Read more
New Woman

You’ve got Ashley Cole all wrong, insists nudie model

Kayla Collins – very open minded

Kayla Collins

You’re all familiar with the thoughtful saying about people in glass houses not throwing stones. It’s a metaphor which works on two levels – both literally (it’d be a stupid thing to do), and figuratively (it means “don’t slag people off, [...]

Read more

What do you need to say to get Cheryl Cole into bed?

(pic now works as a ghostly representation of the Coles’ marriage)


According to Cheryl herself, as told to omnipresent toff twat Piers Morgan, the only line Ashley needed was:

hey hotlips, nice bum

By God, they were a classy pair.

Here’s a bonus blind item from Mirror Football‘s [...]

Read more Older posts