Pipe down, kid

Cristiano Ronaldo tells Mario Balotelli to shut the hell up

Ronaldo – with an invisible Sophie Reade?

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It’s a day of temporary enlightenment when it comes to the whirring mind of Cristiano Ronaldo – considered at Real Madrid to be a rather arrogant man. Firsty, he reluctantly changes his little baby’s turd-filled nappies from time to time, [...]

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Spanish Drama

Hey Sara Carbonero! STAY AWAY from Cristiano Ronaldo!

Back off!

Sara Carbonero

Cast your mind back through the sherry-glazed fug of the last couple of weeks, and you might remember that The Spoiler lifted the Real Madrid curtain to reveal that absolutely everyone seems to think that Cristiano Ronaldo is a bit of a [...]

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SO RONERY

Everyone at Real Madrid hates Cristiano Ronaldo

CR7 allegedly only has THREE friends at Real

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The next few times Cristiano Ronaldo scores a goal and starts doing his “I’m great, me!” celebration shtick, look closely. What’s wrong with the picture? Oh yeah, that’s it.

NO-ONE ELSE IS CELEBRATING WITH HIM.

According to Spain’s most popular [...]

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LICENSED TO THRILL! ETC.

Wayne Rooney will return, in… ‘Octogenarian Pussy’

Photoshop hijinks

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It’s Christmas party season in the world of professional football and Manchester United are reportedly preparing to throw a James Bond-themed bash – complete with gambling tables (no Michael Owens allowed), ice sculptures and ‘showgirls’, which is presumably a euphemism for ‘one free blowjob per guest!’.

A [...]

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