Spoiler

Cristiano Ronaldo removes top to advertise wristwatch…

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Here’s one for Abbey Clancy!

Bellamy shirts sell like hot cakes

[Pies]

Giggs – no longer frightened of Fergie

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Ronaldinho has clearly been enjoying himself this summer

Portly playmaker waddles around Brazil

Perhaps missing out on the World Cup was a blessing in disguise for Ronaldinho. While his mates trudge home in disgrace, the man they call Gaucho has been having a whale of time (sponsored by pies and ale, from the looks of things) letting [...]

Terrible news for Ronaldinho

AC Milan shirts make you look fat…

Fatties are horrible people, always searching for excuses for their big blubbery bellies – I’m big boned, it’s genetic, I’m actually really quite ill, seriously. But now footballers with squodgy stomachs, like Ronaldinho, really might have a valid excuse for [...]

Which ‘greedy’ Brazilian star can’t stop eating?

Manchester City’s resident graffiti artist is hungry

We all know that Ronaldo and Ronaldinho have been a little ‘thinly challenged’, and it looks like Robinho should be thinking about punching another few holes in his belt. According [...]

Are Manchester City fans getting fatter?

New kit designed for the ‘thinly-challenged’

The cunning marketing folk at Manchester City have come up with an ingenious euphemism for ‘suitable for fat bastards’, by claiming their shirts are ‘more generous’. It’s a shame Ronaldinho didn’t sign on, he definitely would have appreciated [...]

Wayne Rooney: still fat

Striker fails to trim down during summer of excess

It’s obviously a slow news day, as the two big stories in the papers are Rio Ferdinand’s Stamford Bridge steward kicking incident (which happened three months ago) and Wayne Rooney’s expanding waistline.