Cringe!

Frank Lampard humiliated by a cartoon character

Lampard – less popular than a cat

Lamps

It’s a particularly sad day for Frankie Lamps, with news (in The Sun) that a great big pile of golden iPods emblazoned with his extravagant autograph have been “melted down” and replaced with a popular Japanese cartoon character, called Hello Kitty.

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Urgent Fashion News

Big fashion house set to make lovely Chelsea FC suits

If you squint – JT and Ray Wilkins

Dolce and Gabbana

Fans of all things swishy will recognise the two smartly dressed gentlemen in the above picture. They’re Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana, darling. You know, as in Dolce and Gabbana. As in clothes.

Well, the big news rocking [...]

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Problems Problems

Roughly 10 World Cup mistakes made by England

Textbook stop by Green… oh hang on!

Robert Green

From now until the point at which everyone gets tired of analysing England’s problems, and resort instead to puffing out their cheeks and walking away crying whenever the World Cup is mentioned, the microscope will be focussed on what exactly went wrong.

[...]

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Talking Balls

Professor Lampard’s soccer ball assessment sucks!

No! It’s too round!

Adidas Jabulani

Much has been made about Frank Lampard’s astonishing IQ – so high, they say, that the man is a genius. Were he not a footballer, he would presumably be making a decent living discovering planets, or splitting molecules that had been [...]

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Pick Your Team

Who should start for England against the USA?

Wazza – go it alone?

Wayne Rooney

Not long to go now, and still the debates are raging about who should line up for England in their first World Cup outing. As things stand, no one knows who will be in goal, it’s between Carragher and King [...]

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Kickabout

Old man Shilton plays keepy-uppy with Lampsie

Volleying practice at a Tesco’s FA Skills session

As usual, The Spoiler inbox has been filling up like a small ditch at the bottom of Slime Mountain, and some unfortunate [...]

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World Cup Fever

Right, here it is – The Spoiler’s England World Cup 23!

Mr Cool Guy

Fabio Capello

A hunch suggests that Capello will spend the weekend’s match figuring out his World Cup starting XI, with last night’s outing acting predominantly as a squad audition for more than a few of the players involved.

Walcott pretty much played himself out of any [...]

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