Spoiler

Arsenal chairman: “A Champions League spot would be nice”

And if that Messi chap asked to join us, wouldn’t that be super too?

With Garry Cook no longer at large, it feels fair to generalise that most football club suits favour a policy of either taking out restraining orders on microphones or only stepping in front of them to deliver cautious sound bites about “improving the global visibility of the brand going forwards”.

One exception to this trend, [...]

Aris bugger up Man City programme with wrong photo

Stephen Ireland? Don’t be ridiculous…

That moment you realise you’ve done something irretrievably wrong is one of the most gut-wrenching, bottom-tightening moments imaginable. The Spoiler made a mistake once when we finished a sentence with a preposition. Thankfully it’s the only mistake we’ve ever made, but it was bloody [...]

Garry Cook admits Man Utd ‘clock’ banner ‘drives City nuts’

Stretford End flag counts years since Man City’s last trophy

Man City‘s resident mentalist Garry Cook is exactly the type of person you might expect spends his weekdays patrolling Eastlands, barking out short inspirational maxims like ‘never let them see you bleed’ and ‘smile now, cry later’.

However, [...]

The fallout from the Battle of Eastlands continues

Tear-up amongst the Prawn Sandwich Brigade

Man City‘s chief agitator and top mentalist, chief executive Garry Cook, is once again in the centre of a media shit-storm after this morning’s revelations the club’s Wednesday night clash with Everton was even more tasty than first thought.

While Moyes [...]

Oops, looks like Garry Cook has talked himself out of a job

One of these men is Garry Cook

Literally every family in the country features at least one member who would have been better off born a mute. Something in the circuits that connect the brain to the mouth doesn’t quite do the job – hence the [...]

Are Manchester City about to launch a reality TV show?

Nouveau riche club ink deal with the folks behind Big Brother

Since becoming executive chairman of Manchester City last year, Garry Cook was been extolling his vision of a sky blue utopia to anyone who would listen. If his global domination plans come to pass, [...]

Are the problems at Manchester City Craig Bellamy’s fault?

Have underwhelming signings destabilised City’s huge plans?

Manchester City chief executive Garry Cook has huge plans for his club: he envisions a sky blue utopia, where folks all around the world will drive Manchester City cars to [...]

Ambitious Manchester City expansion plans thwarted by number crunchers

No one knows who they are, say advertising agency

Sounding more and more like a supervillain with every day that passes, Manchester City executive chairman Garry Cook (pictured above, probably thinking about money) this week revealed plans to turn the club into the ‘Virgin of [...]