Damn Technology

Old man Dowie has a grumble about kids and their iPods

“Welcome to Hell, Mr Dowie”


After the weekend’s home defeat against Burnley, Iain Dowie was presumably left in a worrying state of contemplation. What is going wrong here? Why aren’t the players functioning properly? What’s their problem?

And, like any man of a certain age living in these confusing [...]

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Financial News

Skint Santos to send Robinho back to City, and more…

Is it curtains for Robinho?


Showbiz desks have been left agog today with news that the actress Katherine Heigl (pronounced “Hi girl!”) suffered a textbook “triple cringe” at an awards show. One of the straps broke on her beautiful red dress! Thankfully, she was alert enough to prevent an [...]

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Gardening Leave

Lucky Phil Brown granted permission to grow flowers…

Grab a trowel, Phil!

Phil Brown

As considerate human beings, people like to describe bad turns-of-events in nice, uplifting ways. Hence why doctors don’t stand in front of the bereaved, going on and on about how their loved one “is dead now”, or how they “just died screaming, with [...]

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News in Brief

Hull scrap frightens grannies, Cup Final fury, and Robinho…


Phil Brown 

Of course, probably the most baffling story of the day concerns the missing body of the soul/funk legend, James Brown. Apparently, it’s vanished. Everyone has been freaking out, some unable to work through the worry of it all, others playing The Payback (after the jump) over [...]

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Hamburg are ready to hijack West Ham’s van Nistelrooy bid

Everybody Loves Rutgerus


There’s just over a week to go before the shutters above the January transfer window slam shut, which means two things: big deals are slowly beginning to whir into action and rumour-mongers are getting increasingly desperate.

Bongo merchant and new West Ham co-owner David Sullivan has [...]

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