Spoiler

Defoe to Arsenal, Meireles out of Liverpool and more…

Make love…

Whenever there is ice hockey on the television, there are two things The Spoiler always wonders about. Firstly, how come the players always seem to be fighting and, secondly, how come they always take their helmets off to punch each other? Leave them on! You’ll get hurt!

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The one player every team in the Premier League should buy – Part I

Both of these lads should come…

Before anyone comes along and says:

“Surely the one player every team in the Premier League should buy would be Messi.”

…That ain’t an option. What we’ve actually gone and done is listed all the Premier League teams and decided on one player [...]

Will Jermain Defoe prove to be a soothsayer?

Our prediction – this will definitely be happening tonight…

During our three hour lunches at Spoiler HQ we often find ourselves – in between glasses of champagne – trawling our glorious archives and laughing heartily. Remember when we suggested Ashley Cole might not be that bad? Crazy times.

Anyway, [...]

A lovely gallery of pretty women scorned by footballers

A thrilling montage of Abbey Clancy:

What a rotten month Abbey Clancy must be having. So beautiful, so desired – and yet totally cheated on by a man whose shadow could win a Nosferatu lookalike competition.

Very much in the spirit of making Ms Clancy feel better, after the jump you’ll [...]

Spurs or Arsenal – who will fare better in Europe?

Defoe – fast talker

Those who have listened to Jermain Defoe talk might have noticed that he sounds like someone who has had a pile of random words and phrases forced into his mouth, before being issued with a sudden Heimlich Manoeuvre. He’s very hard to follow.

Anyway, in amongst the garbled onslaught, these [...]

England win, Rooney tells ref to make love to himself

Platinum Stars 0-3 England

Well, a win is a win, and it was only a warm up. England scored three, but on the downside Glen Johnson gave away a sloppy penalty, and Wazza rather hurt the ref’s feelings by making [...]

Defoe’s not been playing very well, suggests Redknapp

Defoe – peacocking?

For all of the perks, now would not be a good time to be the wife or girlfriend of an England footballer. Normally so pampered, treated like a little princess with pretend bosoms, but if there was ever a time to get the hell out of [...]