GOING NOWHERE

So Newcastle are flogging Cheick Tiote to the highest bidder then…

Will it soon be this man's turn to slag off the owners on Twitter?

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Want to see Cheick Tiote in your club’s colours come January? Well unlucky folks, because Alan Pardew says that it will take something pretty special (are you listening Comolli?) to prise the Ivorian yellow-card magnet away from the Sports Direct Warehouse.

Don’t believe us? Check this out: “To us, he is very, very important and [...]

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PRE-SEASON REVIEW

The Spoiler’s Summer Awards – Part One

And the award for most unnecessary caps in a headline goes to…

Joey Barton and Cesc Fabregas

Apologies once again for the lack of activity on The Spoiler this summer. To compensate – or punish further, depending on your view – we’ve crammed about seven stories [...]

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Behind the football

Literally a list of footballers who fancy themselves as a muso

Something about Barton and a stray elbow…

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Music and football should go together like peas and carrots in a lovely Sunday dinner, but whenever the two combine the results tend to be like peas and carrots in a great big pile of sick.

In fact, the best decision the [...]

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Footballers at Glastonbury

Rooney’s mob destroys Glastonbury peace and Barton meets his hero

Where’s the straw trilby, Wayne?

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Glastonbury happened at the weekend and loads of surprising things happened.

God finally had enough of Bono and decided to unleash a biblical downpour on the false idol and all his followers, while the Chemical Brothers either had an amazing laser-man run over their [...]

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Villas-Boas to Chelsea, Barton to Arsenal and more

Villas-Boas to Chelsea, Barton to Arsenal and more

Taken six years ago when he was 27-years-old…

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Andre Villas-Boas is gonna be the next boss Chelsea fired for underachieving – well done on the forthcoming massive payday, Andre!

Anyway, The Spoiler was convinced it was only a matter of time before Guus Hiddink was unveiled as the new [...]

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If only that bus would hurry up...

Mike Ashley comes up with another way to save some money

Featuring sick retro-Photoshop skillz

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No content with flogging Kevin Nolan and all of Newcastle United’s good players, here’s Mike Ashley in this morning’s Metro saving a whopping £1,300 a year after converting one of those Sinclair C5 things to pedal power.

The security he needs employ so he can [...]

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