Spoiler

John Carew tucks into some Rooney-inspired birthday cake

Brandishing knives at tits = poor choice of pose

Chefs at the Norweigan team hotel whipped up a boobtastic surprise for birthday boys John Carew and his fellow striker Erik Huseklepp on Sunday. Footballers just have sex on the brain, don’t they?

[via ONTD Football]

Who took the most rubbish penalty of the weekend?

Featuring damp squibs, space rockets and unnecessary shuffling

Hi!

Good things came in multiples in the Premier League this weekend, with three 6-0 thumpings, two hat-tricks and two wonder-strikes adding sparkle to what has been a rather exciting start to the season.

However, so did some desperately crap [...]

Would Carew make a decent Spurs signing?

Subject of a Keane-plus-cash switcheroo, so they say

Regardless of any decent intentions, Robbie Keane’s decision to get loaded with a bunch of Spurs players during a bogus golfing holiday looks to have rather put the kibosh on his time at White Hart Lane. The writing’s on [...]

Six great back-heeled goals

Because using the top of the boot is so last year

If footballers kicking a ball with the top of their foot isn’t enough excitement for you, the last seven days has really been a treat, as a trend of using an alternative means of transport in getting ball to net has emerged. Aston Villa’s [...]

Shearer is feeling confident, Wenger is staying put and Sheffield United are moaning

Also appearing on a computer near you…

The best of MOTD2′s 2 Good, 2 Bad [101 Great Goals]

Alan Shearer is “totally convinced” that Newcastle will survive on Sunday [BBC]

Cesc Fabregas is [...]

Which one player would you poach from… Aston Villa?

Use your vote wisely…

The scenario: You’re the manager of a Premier League team, and you’re allowed to strengthen your squad by signing just one player in the January transfer window. But you can only choose someone from Aston Villa’s squad – so who do you pick?

Your options: [...]

Aston Villa fans produce chant of the season

Villains show excellent sense of humour over striker’s antics

Following the news that ‘fatigued’ striker John Carew was spotted at a lap dancing club prior to last week’s UEFA Cup clash with Ajax, Villa fans treated the big Norwegian to a roaring chorus of:

“Get your t*ts out for Carew!”

After coming off [...]

WAG No. 44: Alesha Dixon

The rappin’ dancin’ modellin’ laydee has upgraded to a better class of ‘baller

John Carew must be a happy man – not only is he helping Aston Villa to another stable top half finish, but the lanky Norweigian has bagged himself a cracking new WAG – former Mis-Teeq star and Strictly [...]