Lessons learned from Saturday’s horror show

Another England match, another rubbish evening…

Lampsie and Steve

The scoreline flattered to deceive, England were horrendous against Kazakhstan. Barely a decent string of passes were strung, and half of the players had the look of men who’d rather be anywhere else other than playing at home for [...]

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Photographic Evidence

Interesting Deco, Ferdinand and Cheryl Cole news

Away from the pitch they’re just like you… only cooler

Cheryl Cole

Thank Christ for the paparazzi. There, we said it. Because without these drooling heroes with their gigantic cameras and intrusive personalities, we would know nothing about the real lives of our footballers and their WAGs. Until this [...]

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Chelsea Infirmary Update

Essien’s injury spells great news for Ballack

Midfield terrier has knackered knees

Forget Lampsie, Ballack, Drog-Drog – the player most likely to drag Chelsea through those stodgy mid-season blues has been Michael Essien, the Chelsea fans player of the season in 2006/2007, a human dynamo. Hence the Londoners (in the broadest sense) will surely suffer as the midfielder looks set to miss [...]

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Big Fashion Eye

Steven Gerrard assembles himself correctly

Footballer in normal clothes shocker

Stevie G

The Spoiler’s love for Gerrard is deep. Real deep. Not just because he plays great football, we love him because he behaves as a sportsman should. For example, when left to his own devices, he has no idea what to wear.


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The Future

Breaking Ronaldo, Lampard, and other Ronaldo news!

Tomorrow’s headlines today…


Sick of sticking to the same old weekly pattern of tomorrow following today etc? Then great news, man! Here’s what the papers are going to be saying in the morning…

Calderon wastes opportunity Ramon Calderon has become an expert in sending out mixed signals over the [...]

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The Big Debate

Is Liverpool the NICEST club in the Premier League?

Just a question, not a declaration of war…


Alright, football fans, put the grenades down, and throw your machetes into a nearby hedge. The Spoiler knows the drill by now, your claws are out, and we can only apologise for the headline – we didn’t do it just to [...]

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Silly Andriy

Oh Boy! Shevchenko messes up again

Chelsea stars get their leather on in da club

Leather boys

For those that didn’t realise, last night the theme was “Small Leather Jacket” down at Funky Buddha – by far the most sensual of London’s sexy wine bars.

Of course, Lamps was there with pals Ballack and [...]

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