Mario Balotelli gets into restaurant row with Rooney hooker Jenny Thompson

The Spoiler: First! for ridiculous Mario Balotelli news!


Fantastically lairy Manchester City striker Mario Balotelli managed to get Wayne Rooney‘s former £1,200-a-night hooker Jenny Thompson banned from a posh restaurant after the group were involved in a playground-level slanging match which ended in Super Mario offering one of her [...]

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Mario Balotelli claims meeting Original Ronaldo will end his wild ways

Striker seeks advice from legendary Brazilian


Self-styled ‘troubled striker’ Mario Balotelli has promised to curb his wild streak – if he gets to meet Original Ronaldo for a heart-to-heart chat.

In an interview on Italian telvision, the 20-year-old revealed Il Fenomeno is the only one he’s likely to listen [...]

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Ex-Man City striker Kelvin Etuhu jailed for eight months

Fracas outside nightclub lands academy graduate in hot water


Former Man City striker Kelvin Etuhu has been handed an eight month prison sentence after his involvement in a fight which left a man with his jaw broken during a night out.

The 22-year-old brother of Fulham midfielder Dickson Etuhu [...]

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Mario Balotelli didn’t have a great night last night

I’ll ‘ave ya! (or whatever the Italian translation is)


You’d think most footballers, immediately after having their dreams of European glory wrenched away from them, would go home and drown their sorrows with a relaxing game of Call of Duty, or find solace between the thighs of a group [...]

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Premier League sides limp out of Europa League

A night of despair in the Channel 5 cup

A goal from Aleksandar Kolarov wasn’t enough to stop Man City following Liverpool out of the Europa League back door last night, as Roberto Mancini’s men crashed to [...]

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Something we never thought we

Bloody Hell! Sir Alex Ferguson gets five match ban!

Glasses? Check. Mobile? Check. SCREW YOU FA!


As you read this, Sir Alex Ferguson is probably sitting in his office quietly taking the news that he’s been given a FIVE MATCH TOUCHLINE BAN very well. He’s probably sitting there thinking about what he said and vowing never to speak [...]

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Drugs test news

That’s one way to reduce the wage bill…

We’re saying nowt…


One thing’s for sure – Kolo Toure definitely hasn’t been slipped something by Manchester City in a massive conspiracy to reduce their wage bill and pull them in line with the upcoming UEFA regulations.

And while we’re at it, people need to stop those sarky comments [...]

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