AT IT AGAIN

Mario Balotelli gets into restaurant row with Rooney hooker Jenny Thompson

The Spoiler: First! for ridiculous Mario Balotelli news!

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Fantastically lairy Manchester City striker Mario Balotelli managed to get Wayne Rooney‘s former £1,200-a-night hooker Jenny Thompson banned from a posh restaurant after the group were involved in a playground-level slanging match which ended in Super Mario offering one of her [...]

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ADVICE LINE

Mario Balotelli claims meeting Original Ronaldo will end his wild ways

Striker seeks advice from legendary Brazilian

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Self-styled ‘troubled striker’ Mario Balotelli has promised to curb his wild streak – if he gets to meet Original Ronaldo for a heart-to-heart chat.

In an interview on Italian telvision, the 20-year-old revealed Il Fenomeno is the only one he’s likely to listen [...]

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LAW GYP

Ex-Man City striker Kelvin Etuhu jailed for eight months

Fracas outside nightclub lands academy graduate in hot water

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Former Man City striker Kelvin Etuhu has been handed an eight month prison sentence after his involvement in a fight which left a man with his jaw broken during a night out.

The 22-year-old brother of Fulham midfielder Dickson Etuhu [...]

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STREETFIGHTER

Mario Balotelli didn’t have a great night last night

I’ll ‘ave ya! (or whatever the Italian translation is)

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You’d think most footballers, immediately after having their dreams of European glory wrenched away from them, would go home and drown their sorrows with a relaxing game of Call of Duty, or find solace between the thighs of a group [...]

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MOVING PICTURES

Premier League sides limp out of Europa League

A night of despair in the Channel 5 cup

A goal from Aleksandar Kolarov wasn’t enough to stop Man City following Liverpool out of the Europa League back door last night, as Roberto Mancini’s men crashed to [...]

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Something we never thought we

Bloody Hell! Sir Alex Ferguson gets five match ban!

Glasses? Check. Mobile? Check. SCREW YOU FA!

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As you read this, Sir Alex Ferguson is probably sitting in his office quietly taking the news that he’s been given a FIVE MATCH TOUCHLINE BAN very well. He’s probably sitting there thinking about what he said and vowing never to speak [...]

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Drugs test news

That’s one way to reduce the wage bill…

We’re saying nowt…

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One thing’s for sure – Kolo Toure definitely hasn’t been slipped something by Manchester City in a massive conspiracy to reduce their wage bill and pull them in line with the upcoming UEFA regulations.

And while we’re at it, people need to stop those sarky comments [...]

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