Cool Under Heat
Showing he has a firmer grasp of the English language than Fabio ‘100 words’ Capello, fellow Italian Roberto Mancini has told our favouritest player ever, Mario Balotelli, to sort himself out.
Taking his inspiration from The Clash’s rubbish final album ‘Cut the Crap’ (‘This is England’ [...]
Read moreThe Spoiler: First! for ridiculous Mario Balotelli news!
Fantastically lairy Manchester City striker Mario Balotelli managed to get Wayne Rooney‘s former £1,200-a-night hooker Jenny Thompson banned from a posh restaurant after the group were involved in a playground-level slanging match which ended in Super Mario offering one of her [...]
Read moreStriker seeks advice from legendary Brazilian
Self-styled ‘troubled striker’ Mario Balotelli has promised to curb his wild streak – if he gets to meet Original Ronaldo for a heart-to-heart chat.
In an interview on Italian telvision, the 20-year-old revealed Il Fenomeno is the only one he’s likely to listen [...]
Read moreI’ll ‘ave ya! (or whatever the Italian translation is)
You’d think most footballers, immediately after having their dreams of European glory wrenched away from them, would go home and drown their sorrows with a relaxing game of Call of Duty, or find solace between the thighs of a group [...]
Read moreA night of despair in the Channel 5 cup
A goal from Aleksandar Kolarov wasn’t enough to stop Man City following Liverpool out of the Europa League back door last night, as Roberto Mancini’s men crashed to [...]
Read moreMario – not allergic to dressing like JLS
Let’s make no bones about it, The Spoiler absolutely loves Mario Balotelli.
Already this season he’s… dumped (one of) his girlfriend(s) by text, said this to Manchester police, snuck into a women’s prison, had a pop at [...]
Read moreSome romantic balloons
It’s just as well The Spoiler doesn’t believe in Valentine’s Day otherwise tonight’s plan of sitting alone in a cold flat eating Pot Noodle and watching P.S. I Love You may just tip us over the edge.
We’re sure that Premier League footballers have no [...]
Read moreRonaldo – with an invisible Sophie Reade?
It’s a day of temporary enlightenment when it comes to the whirring mind of Cristiano Ronaldo – considered at Real Madrid to be a rather arrogant man. Firsty, he reluctantly changes his little baby’s turd-filled nappies from time to time, [...]
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