Spoiler

Victor Anichebe is “deeply upset and very angry”

Everton star not willing to forgive police for jewellery shop mix-up

A statement on the Everton club website, Thursday March 12:

“We would now expect [Victor Anichebe] to receive a full and unreserved [...]

Everton star suspected of being a jewellery thief

Police swoop on Victor Anichebe while he browses in shop window

While deciding how to dispose of his generous income at the window of a posh jewellery shop in Knutsford, Cheshire yesterday, Everton star Victor Anichebe was deemed to be “acting suspiciously” by Police. Rather than risk [...]

Didier Drogba’s cleaner calls the police over payment row

Woman experiences difficulty extracting £430 from man who earns £115,000 a week

If there’s one thing better than hiring a cleaner for your £4m Surrey mansion, then it’s hiring a cleaner with a name like a stripper for your £4m Surrey mansion. Chelsea star Didier Drogba opted [...]

Shola Ameobi is messy, an idiot

Newcastle star mistakenly believed his pigsty home was burgled

Fearing he had become the latest Premier League burglary victim, Shola Ameobi recently phoned the police to report a break in. The concerned Newcastle striker told Northumbria Police that several items including his chequebook had been purloined from [...]

Steven Gerrard arrested for assault

Liverpool captain caught up in restaurant brawl

Obviously delighted with the two goals that helped embarrass Newcastle yesterday, Steven Gerrard MBE went to a restaurant on Bold Street, Southport, Merseyside. The night didn’t end well, however, as the Liverpool captain ended [...]

Police hunt Spurs fans who abused Sol Campbell

Photos of wanted supporters published

Gone are the days when a racist and homophobic football fan could hide behind the anonymity of a crowd – Police are actively seeking sixteen Tottenham fans who turned up at Fratton Park in September to watch their side lose 2-0. The [...]

West Ham star may sue for wrongful arrest

James Collins handcuffed and arrested for no particular reason

If there is a fight outside swanky nightclub Funky Buddha on a weeknight, it’s safe to assume a Premiership star is involved. The Police made this very assumption last night, and put cuffs on West Ham defender James [...]