Front Page News

OMMFG! Wenger’s “mistress” claims to up le duff!

Wenger – nothing to hide?

Arsene Wenger

Of course, in the good old days, you’d barely hear a peep from your goomar. There she’d be, beautiful as a delicate flower, perfectly happy for you to finish off, then nip home to the wife and kids for tea in front of [...]

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Taking Stock

10 important lessons to take from football sex scandals

Sorry, prostitutes, these johns are now “off limits”

Rooney and Crouch 

It’s enormously important for the moral growth of the nation that everyone reflects on the recent sex scandals – perhaps look long and hard into a nearby mirror and think about what you have gained from these tawdry goings-on?


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Abbey Clancy’s having a baby – it COULD be a boy

A montage!

Abbey Clancy

In what sounds like a very weird dream, The Sun reports that Abbey Clancy went for lunch at Strada with James Brown, before declaring to the whole restaurant that she was expecting a baby boy, the nurse saw its penis and she wants [...]

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Rumour Vine

More bad news for Tottenham

The story that could be hitting the tabloids soon…

Rumour Vine

After a dreadful start to the campaign, it seems that things keep getting worse for Tottenham Hotspur. The Spoiler has been informed that there is a lady in her sixth month of pregnancy, claiming the father to be [...]

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Neville has victorious sex

Stand back people, there’s another one…


Gary Neville is one of those players who values the result over the quality of the match. Grind it out, get the win, that’s his mentality. Hence, the Man United right back must have been over the moon to discover that after years [...]

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Tubby 'Ballers

Wayne Rooney: still fat

Striker fails to trim down during summer of excess

Wayne Rooney is fat

It’s obviously a slow news day, as the two big stories in the papers are Rio Ferdinand’s Stamford Bridge steward kicking incident (which happened three months ago) and Wayne Rooney’s expanding waistline.

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