Spoiler

Ferguson takes a leaf from the book of Wenger

Plus Everton employees get lazy 

For those sensible enough to still be at work – rather than joining all the cheerful idiots bounding around the city centre in swimming costumes, hosing each other down and smearing ice cream everywhere – here are today’s very straight-faced transfer rumours. Roll VT…

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Liverpool show team spirit in fancy dress

Except for Torres, who couldn’t be bothered

Liverpool’s December Christmas party was postponed when Stevie G allowed masked intruders to burgle his home and terrify his wife. To make up for the celebration-halting gaff, he pulled out all the stops at the rescheduled event with some [...]